Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
