we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
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It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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