yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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