YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
