Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
