She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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