I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
