I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
