I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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