Sponge bath it is.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
