I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
