Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
