that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
