So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
