I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize