I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
