my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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