for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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