he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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