Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
