he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
