I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
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You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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