Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
