I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
