Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
