But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
