the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
there is puke in my bra ... again
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
