i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
