A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
