A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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