Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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