Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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