i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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