his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
