Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
