Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
