i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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