i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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