Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
