Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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