white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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