question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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