Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize