wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
