Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
