yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
