five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
