do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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