Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?