eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.