im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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