Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
