I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We have started to decorate penises.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
