His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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