Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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