Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
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I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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