Your mouth is God's brothel.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
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I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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