all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I will be naked everywhere
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
