What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
