Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
