I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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