Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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