She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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