I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
